If you ever did believe

I can't stop crying now
My world walked out the door
He took my heart and left our home
For I will love no more

The hours passed like seconds
When our two hearts were one
The seconds passed like hours
After he said that he was done

He was going to love me forever
At least, that is what he said
His heart belonged to someone else
That is what the letter read

I no longer live in color
My world is black and white
I always wonder what he is doing
As I lie awake alone at night

I hope tomorrow is better
Every night I pray
But right now my heart is broken
I can't stop crying today...

The best part of me was always you.

In my heart there will always be a place for you, for all my life. I'll always remember all the strength you gave to me. You were always there for me, for anything. I will always keep a part of you with me, but was I ever a part of you?

I've heard all you've said, but I can't even make one sound. I've apologized for it all, even though all wasn't very much. It seems to mean the world to you. But you were my world. I fall to the floor at night when I'm alone and weep, for that is all it takes is the silence and still of the night to break me down now. I shed tears to feel something, because even if it's pain it gives me some sense of being alive.

It wasn't supposed to be this way. It wasn't supposed to ever hurt this bad. I never pictured every minute without you in it, but you just left so fast. Every story, every memory consists of you. Nothing really matters anymore. The life that I knew and loved has flattered in the wind. A simple breeze that blew it all to the seas.

I'm numb.

This is just a dream...

Holding onto all I have left of him, there is an uncomfortable still silence in the air. It's like I'm trying to breathe and the air is too much for my lungs. "Baby, why did you leave me? This can't be happening to me." Flashbacks of better times and memories rush through my head as I bow my head and let the tears roll down my face. I stand at our bedroom door, unable to open it. Scared to open it. Will it hit me with a flood of memories and regrets? Will I be able to handle the smells, the sense of your presence just like it was yesterday. Broken hangers clutter the floor, while the curtains lay over the window half opened. This was my sanctuary; this was my world. Now, my world has been destroyed by an ocean of remorse and unkindness. As I try to hide the tears, I just can't believe that this is actually happening. I can't even breathe.

Everyone tells me that it will get better. That one day, I'll be over this. That I'm better off; I deserve better; That I shouldn't settle for someone who is so cold. They give hope, but everyone is saying he's not coming home now. The feeling of emptiness overwhelmes my entire body until it becomes numb to the world. They say you just learn how to manage the pain, and one day it just starts gettinh easier somehow. I can't seem to find this balance between life and death. I can't wrap my brain around the fact that it is this easy just to let me go. I wanted him to save my life, but he just let me drown in the flood. The world is coming down around me and I can't find a reason to be loved. I tried my best to never let you go, but you gave up at the sight of a wound. I never believed that I would truly love until you put your arms around me. I can't breathe.

I would have never let this love go away. The feeling that you gave me made it feel like home. It was something in your eyes. I became completely lost in your touch. If you were with me I didn't care where we ended up, as long as you were holding onto me it meant I was safe. There was no place I would have ever wanted to be more than right by your side. You changed my life. My world made sense when you were in it. You saved me. I can't breathe.